With Every Kiss
by theVoiceInsideYourHead
Summary: Revengey: Nothing hurts quite as much as unrequited love.


A/N: I felt a sudden burst of inspiration to write a really sad story while listening to 'Thnks fr th Mmrs' by FOB…weird. Ramblings at the end of the one-shot! (I'm getting the hang of writing one-shots…it's VERY addicting)

_**Warnings: Yaoi and Major Depression…that's about it.**_

Additional Warnings: This is not a happy story. If you don't like sad stories, then don't read.

xxxxxx 

You kill me with every kiss you give her.

I feel my heart breaking into tiny little pieces with every 'I love you' you say, knowing that it's never going to be for me.

But it's not your fault, is it? It was mine. You never knew. And now that you've finally found her, I guess you never will. I couldn't tell you and I don't know why. Maybe I was afraid of the rejection and the heartache. Or maybe I just didn't love myself enough to do what my heart wanted me to do. But these ramblings are meaningless now. They mean nothing to either you or me. Not now. Not now when you are so happy loving her.

Every time I look at you together, I wonder what it would be like if I was in her place. I wonder what it would be like for you to kiss me and tell me how much you love me…all a bunch of dreams. Just dreams.

I remember the time when I had the chance to say I love you. Everything was already in place, our definite marriage and the blessing of my family and yours. But I still couldn't say it. I was too proud to say it first knowing that our whole engagement was the result of nothing more but an accident.

So I shut all my feelings out.

In some ways, I shut myself out too.

Then you saved me. I had died and you brought me back life. You, in both the literal and emotional sense, had brought me back my heart. I said to myself that I would tell you when the moment was right. However, before that moment could come, you left. You chose your other world and left us here.

You left _me_ here.

Then again, there wasn't any reason for you to stay. Your royalty was forced upon you simply because of the color of your hair and the color of your eyes. No one could blame you for leaving the way you did. Not even me. I wasn't that selfish.

So I hoped and waited for your return. The decades passed me by, filled with empty laughs and worthless memories. Despite all of that, Fate decided to twist things up again by sending you back to Shin Makoku. You were surprised to see how much things had changed. Gwendel locked himself up inside his office more often, Gunter rarely smiled and there was a falter in Conrart's ever-present grin.

But it still wasn't finished. You brought along a brunette girl with you.

_She _was the twist. And _she _was your fiancée. Our new queen.

My new queen.

It hurt, yes. But what could I have done? You chose her and destroyed me in the process. You apologized but I know you didn't mean it. You were too happy with her to feel any remorse or regret in leaving me here too pick up all the pieces of our engagement. The thing that hurt the most was that I couldn't even say anything. I cherished the fragile friendship we had too much.

A part of me didn't want it while the other didn't want to let go.

So I stayed in the shadows, watching, listening, _dying_.

Mother noticed. She always does. Still, I could say nothing. There was no way I could drag her into this. It was my problem, not anyone else's. I didn't want to burden anymore people with my petty feelings. That's all they were. Petty feelings. That's how you saw it, right? _Petty_.

Every single day, I wished to leave. I wished to leave behind all the pain and anger you have unknowingly cause. As always, I couldn't. I tried to but you of all people stopped me.

"_Where are you going, Wolfram?" He asked, eyeing the small sack I carried._

"…_I'm going…to…to…a nearby village. They're having some trouble with a bunch of hoodlums" I stuttered._

_He raised an eyebrow, "In the middle of the night?"_

_I nodded slightly, "Yes. I wanted to help them right away. The delinquents seemed to be using Mazoku"_

"_I see" He smiled, "Come back soon, okay?"_

_I smiled a little, "Okay, Yuri_"

So I did.

I returned, just because you asked me too. Yet nothing changed. You were still loving her and giving her all of your affection. In some weird way, I couldn't look away whenever you entered the room together, cuddling or kissing. It was like a drug, or maybe it was just the masochist inside me.

And so the days went on. You got married. I can't even believe that you made me your best man. I didn't even know what a best man was. Nothing changed. The years passed by and my anger grew. The pain and resentment were still there but anger overpowered them. I was angry with you for giving me a small amount of hope then taking it away. I was angry with you for falling in love with someone else.

But most of all, I was angry with myself for doing and saying nothing while I allowed you to hurt me.

So I got married and moved out of Blood Pledge Castle, away from all the memories and away from you.

My husband loved me with all his heart and helped me heal my own. He showed me how to live and love again. We were happy and I found myself letting go of you and forgetting all the pain I went through. Geoffrey truly was heaven-sent. He saved me. Not from you but from the darkness that I myself had created.

One day, as I was patrolling one of the towns, I heard sellers gossiping about the Maou and his wife, Sofiya.

"_Pssst! Did you hear about King Yuri and the queen fighting? The Maou nearly flooded the whole castle!" one woman asked._

_The other lady shook her head, "No. What were they fighting about?"_

"_Something petty, I hear. Like what the color of the curtains in their bedroom should be"_

_I smiled when I heard their use of the word petty. It wasn't that long ago that I was using the exact same word._

"_Petty, huh? That sounds awfully familiar," I thought._

Your fight did pique my interest though. And when you invited my husband and I to one of the balls being held in honor of the queen, I decided to intervene and help smooth out the wrinkles in between your relationship with Sofiya.

But what you said shocked me. Albeit too much, in my opinion.

"_I want to help you and her Majesty, Yuri. If you're fighting over curtain colors I suggest you leave that to Mother"_

_You shook your head and replied, "That's not what we're fighting about"_

_I placed my hands on my waist, "Then what are you fighting over?"_

"_Not what, who"_

"_Fine. Who?"_

"_You…"_

"_Me?" I exclaimed, "What on earth are you fighting over me for?"_

_You remained silent._

"_Well?" I pressed._

_Your arms trembled as you shouted, "Because I love you, Wolfram!"_

_I could feel my heart sinking to my stomach._

You told me that ever since I got married, you could feel your heart wrenching and being torn into pieces.

"Please, Wolfram…come back to me…I love you…" 

_I shook my head and sighed, "I'm sorry, Yuri…I…I just don't love anymore. After almost 30 years of loving you, I've let go. I got tired of waiting"_

_You grasped my hand and said, "You're wait was worth it, Wolf. I'm here now"_

_I took my hand away and turned back towards the castle, "I can't, Yuri. You're too late. I stopped waiting a long time ago. I love Geoffrey and he loves me back. I'm happy now, in love. But not with you"_

_I walked back towards the ball and saw Geoffrey. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and held his hand._

"_Is everything all right?" he asked._

_I smiled, "Perfect. Just perfect"_

As stupid as it may sound, it was the best decision I ever made.

I walked away from you because I was already happy and content with what I had. I loved and was loved in return. I didn't want to give all of that up for one shot with you that might not even work out. You were married and so was I. I wasn't going to act stupid again and leave the man I love. Not this time.

It's your fault for figuring your feelings out too late. It's your fault for waiting too long to say I love you. So now you must feel the way I did so many years ago. It's your turn. My pain had ended and I find it fitting that yours has begun. Oddly enough, I don't feel bad for you. Somewhere inside of me, I think you deserve it.

Whatever the reason maybe, the result will stay the same.

You die with every kiss I give him. You feel your heart breaking into tiny little pieces with every 'I love you' I say, knowing that it's never going to be for you.

But I'm happy, and that's all that matters.

xxxxxx 

PS: Don't get me wrong, YurixWolfram is my favorite pairing in KKM but I just couldn't resist making a sad ending (gets pelted by readers). Hey! Honestly, I just wanted to torture Yuri a bit for leaving Wolfram all alone and heading off to his real world in the last episode of the series. Damn him. The ending sucked because they never ended up together. Double damn.

Probably because 50 of the world's population are made up of homophobes. Damn them all.

So…review? Pretty please! Review like crazy! They make me happy…and crazy.

-SaMiE-


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